I bake a lot. You probably know this. But truly, I am always more drawn to salt. Put cake and any type of melted cheese thing in front of me, it’s never a contest. Cheese always wins. So does bread. And salt. Combine this impulse with the secret (imaginary) life I have holding swanky cocktail parties every night and you get …appetizers! In my world they don’t have to be fancy. Just small enough to eat in two bites. And preferably using one, if not all, of the aforementioned elements. Which I need to temper my imaginary martinis.
These pretzels are definitely not fancy. Food & Wine will not be reviewing the recipe, you can pronounce all the ingredients, they might be slightly white trash. I don’t care. And if you eat a pretzel straight from the oven, neither will you. I ate eight of them just taking the pictures, and put so much cheese dip on them I had to wash my fingers to press the shutter. These do take several hours to make, but you should try it at least once. Then put on a slinky dress and try not to drop cheese dip in your cleavage.
ingredients for pretzels:
- 1 tsp. sugar
- 2 & 1/4 tsp. (1 envelope) dry yeast
- 4 to 4 & 1/2 c. unbleached flour
- 1 tbl. kosher salt, plus more for sprinkling
- 6 tbl. melted unsalted butter
- 1/3 c. baking soda
- 1 egg yolk
Heat 1 & 1/2 cups of water to 105-110°. Pour into the bowl of an electric stand mixer. Sprinkle yeast on top, then the sugar. Stir gently. The sugar feeds your yeast, so don’t skip it.
Let your yeast sit for 5 minutes until it has risen and become foamy. If it looks the same after 10 minutes or so, then I’m so sorry to inform you your yeast is dead. No pretzels for you today.
Add 4 c. flour,butter and salt to the yeast mixture. Using a dough hook, mix dough on low-speed for about 5 minutes, until dough forms a ball and pulls away from the sides of the bowl. Add up to the last 1/2 cup of flour if necessary.
* to keep the dough from “climbing” up your hook, spray just the top of the hook with nonstick cooking spray.
Spray a bowl at least twice the size of your dough with nonstick cooking spray. Turn out dough into bowl. Spray a sheet of plastic wrap with nonstick stray and cover the surface of the dough. Let rise at room temperature for 1 hour, or overnight in the refrigerator.
When dough is ready, bring 5 cups of water to a boil in a large saucepan. Slowly add baking soda while stirring (if you dump it in all at once it will foam up all over your stove! Ask me how I know this.) Return water to boil and pre-heat your oven to 450°.
Spray a cutting board or clean counter top with nonstick cooking spray. Divide dough into 8 equal pieces and form into long ropes, about 12″ long. Cut ropes into pieces 1 &1/2″ long.
Add dough to water, a 1/2 dozen at a time, and boil for 30 seconds. Remove to a baking sheet and repeat until all dough has been cooked.
Let dough cool for a minute. Mix your egg yolk with 1 tbl. of water in a small bowl. Use a pastry brush to brush egg wash onto the pretzels, then sprinkle heavily with kosher salt. Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Leave room between the pretzels, they are going to puff up! Bake for about 10 minutes, until pretzels turn a rich brown color. Remove from baking sheet and allow to cool on a wire rack for a few minutes.
While your pretzels are baking, make the beer cheese dip.
ingredients:
- 4 tbl. unsalted butter
- 1/2 onion, intact
- 4 tbl. unbleached flour
- 1/2 to 1 c. sharp cheddar, finely grated
- 1 bottle (12 oz.) beer
- 1 c. heavy cream
- 1/4 tsp. kosher salt
- fresh ground black pepper
- pinch nutmeg
- 1 bay leaf
In a dutch oven or heavy bottomed saucepan, melt the butter over low heat. Add the onion and bay leaf and cook on low for 5 minutes. Add the flour and cook another 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Slowly add beer, then cream, whisking to combine. Let sauce come to a simmer. Add salt, a few grinds of a pepper mill and nutmeg. Simmer gently for about 30 minutes, whisking occasionally. Be careful not to break your bay leaf. Remove pot from heat and discard the bay leaf and onion. Stir in 1/2 c. of the cheese to melt. Taste your dip. If it’s not cheesy enough, add the other 1/2 c. of cheese.
The pretzels taste best straight from the oven. But if you want to make them the night before, once they’ve cooled completely store them in an airtight container overnight. When ready to eat them, wrap them in parchment paper and fold under the ends. Put them in a warm oven for 10-15 minutes.
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